A Moment That Changed Your Life患癌女孩的自白:改变生活的瞬间

I was 14 years old and thought I knew it all. I had good grades at school， but at home I fought a lot with my mom and stepdad. My parents divorced when I was young， and I developed anger toward my father for leaving my mom. I had become distant from my extended family as well. I couldn't stand my hair; I complained about it every day. I am an only child， but I have a stepbrother whom I hated. I wanted nothing more than to hang out with my friends. I always wanted to be left alone， listening to music， surfing the web， you name it. I was always bitter and crabby1). I took my life for granted2).

May 2010， I'm diagnosed with cancer. Over two months， I was being tested and had two surgeries to determine if I was still in an early stage and could be spared the infamous chemotherapy3) and radiation therapy. Luckily， the cancer hadn't spread into my bloodstream4) and cleaning out the tumors5) would be easy. Although it didn't last as long as you would expect， those two months were hell. I cried myself to sleep every night， fearing the changes that accompanied chemo6). I would have to be home-schooled. Chemo would cause me to be nauseous7)， weak， tired. I'd have to be on a strict diet—unhealthy food could get me sick. I would lose all my hair. I would have tubes connected to my heart coming out of my chest， and so much more. Thankfully， after the second surgery I was cancer free. Of course， I have to remain in remission8) and observation for five years to be sure the cancer doesn't come back， but there's only a small chance it will.

At first， I didn't understand why I had gotten cancer. I would think， \"Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Does God hate me? How could he let anyone suffer what I'm suffering? Especially a kid!\"

Once I started accepting that this was real and I couldn't do anything but fight it， I figured I would enjoy my life as long as I could before getting really sick. I started hanging out with my family more. I spent the weekends with my aunts and cousins， or with my dad and his side of the family. It was hard to do too much， though， because I spent more time at the hospital than I did at my house.

Once I was \"cancer free\"， I was still stuck with the mentality9) that it could come back at any moment， and I would regret not having enjoyed my life as much as I could have. I decided that from then on， I would live life to its fullest. I wouldn't take anything for granted. I would try new things. I would love my brother and my parents， forgive my father， take lots of pictures， smile， laugh， and act goofy10). I'd be outgoing.

Two years later， I'm still cancer free. Three more to go until I'm considered safe. I have to say， God answered my questions. Why did I have cancer? Why me? Because my life was going to waste. I was a selfish， inconsiderate， stubborn， unforgiving， careless， bratty11)， yet shy girl. But when the cancer hit， it completely changed me. When I saw my mom cry， it hurt me. When I heard my dad's voice crack12)， his one and only child， his daughter， diagnosed with cancer， I regretted ever being mad at him. When my stepbrother and cousins were speechless， I reassured them. As I cried， my aunt held my hand and cried with me. She even went to appointments with my parents and me.

I'm not the same girl I was before I had cancer. Today， I take too many pictures， smile too much， goof off13) too much. My brother and I have become close and my cousins have their \"big sister\" back. Cancer brought my family back together. Sometimes my hair is hard to manage， but I can't say I hate it. Don't wait for something like cancer to come around and change your life. Take it upon yourself14) to make things right15) and truly worth living for.那时我14岁，以为自己无所不知。在学校，我成绩优异，但在家里，我却经常与妈妈和继父吵架。我的父母在我小时候就离婚了，我因为父亲离开了母亲而对他心生怨愤，跟大家庭里的亲戚们也日渐疏远。我无法忍受自己的头发，每天为此抱怨不休。我是独生女，但有一个继父带来的兄弟，我讨厌他。我只想跟我的朋友们出去玩。我还总想自己一个人待着，听听音乐，上上网，做些你能想到的事情。我总是满心愤懑，爱发脾气。我以为我的生活就该如此。

2010年5月，我被诊断出了癌症。在两个多月的时间里，我一直在做检查，还做了两个手术以确诊我的病情是否还处于早期，是否可以免做臭名昭著的化疗和放疗。幸运的是，癌症还没有扩散进我的血液，将肿瘤清除干净会容易些。尽管这个过程没有你预想中的那么久，但那两个月却如同炼狱。每天晚上我都哭着入睡，害怕化疗引起的各种变化：我将不得不在家里上学，化疗会让我感到恶心、虚弱和疲惫，我将不得不严格控制饮食——不健康的食物会让我生病，我的头发将全部掉光，我的胸口会被插上连接心脏的管子等等诸如此类的事情。谢天谢地，在第二次手术之后，我的癌症消失了。当然，我还有五年的康复期和观察期，以便确保癌症不会卷土重来——不过它复发的概率很小。

起初，我并不明白为什么我得了癌症。我会想：“为什么是我？我做了什么才遭到这样的报应？上帝讨厌我吗？他怎么可以让一个人承受我这样的痛苦？特别是让一个孩子来承受！”

一旦我开始接受现实，明白除了与之战斗别无选择后，我知道我会在病入膏肓之前尽可能久地享受生活。我开始更多地与家人出去游玩，与姨妈和表兄妹，或是爸爸及他那一边的亲戚共度周末。尽管如此，我还是很难频繁和他们相聚，因为我在医院的时间要多于在家的时间。

在我的癌症“消失”以后，我仍旧被癌症会随时复发的担忧所困扰，我会后悔没有尽可能地享受生活。我决定从那时起把生活过得充实完满。我不会再认为什么事情都是理所应当。我要尝试新鲜事物。我要爱我的继兄弟和父母，要原谅我的父亲，要拍很多照片，微笑，大笑，装傻卖萌。我要变得开朗起来。

两年后，我的癌症仍然没有复发。再过三年没复发我就被视为安全了。我不得不说，上帝回答了我的问题，为什么我会得癌症？为什么是我？因为那时我的生命就要被浪费。过去的我是一个自私自利、不顾别人、顽固不化、没有容忍之心、粗心大意、放肆无礼，却还腼腆害羞的女孩。但是当癌症袭来的时候，我被彻底改变了。看到妈妈在哭泣，我感到心被刺痛。听到爸爸的声音变得嘶哑——他唯一的孩子、他的女儿被诊断身患癌症——我后悔自己之前一直迁怒于他。看到继兄弟和我的表弟表妹们静默语塞，我出言安慰了他们。当我哭泣的时候，姨妈拉着我的手和我一起流泪。她甚至和我的父母一起陪我去见医生。

我不再是患癌症之前的那个女孩了。如今，我拍很多照片，笑得很多，闲适许多。我的继兄弟和我变得亲近了，我的表弟表妹们又找回了他们的“大姐大”。癌症让我的亲人们再次凝聚。有时我的头发还是很难打理，但我不能说讨厌它。不要等类似癌症的东西来改变你的生活，要自己去着手改善现状，让生活真正值得度过。1.crabby [#712;kr#230;bi] adj. 易怒的；脾气坏的；好抱怨的

2.take ... for granted: 认为……是理所当然的

3.chemotherapy [#716;ki#720;m#601;#650;#712;θer#601;pi] n. 【医】化学疗法；化学治疗

4.bloodstream [#712;bl#652;dstri#720;m] n. 血流；体内循环的血液

5.tumor [#712;tju#720;m#601;(r)] n. 【医】肿瘤

6.chemo [#712;ki#720;m#601;#650;] n. <口>化疗

7.nauseous [#712;n#596;#720;zi#601;s] adj. 想呕吐的；恶心的

8.remission [r#618;#712;m#618;#643;n] n. (痛苦、劳役、力度等的)缓和；减轻

9.mentality [men#712;t#230;l#601;ti] n. [贬] (特殊的)心性，心态

I was 14 years old and thought I knew it all. I had good grades at school， but at home I fought a lot with my mom and stepdad. My parents divorced when I was young， and I developed anger toward my father for leaving my mom. I had become distant from my extended family as well. I couldn't stand my hair; I complained about it every day. I am an only child， but I have a stepbrother whom I hated. I wanted nothing more than to hang out with my friends. I always wanted to be left alone， listening to music， surfing the web， you name it. I was always bitter and crabby1). I took my life for granted2).May 2010， I'm diagnosed with cancer. Over two months， I was being tested and had two surgeries to determine if I was still in an early stage and could be spared the infamous chemotherapy3) and radiation therapy. Luckily， the cancer hadn't spread into my bloodstream4) and cleaning out the tumors5) would be easy. Although it didn't last as long as you would expect， those two months were hell. I cried myself to sleep every night， fearing the changes that accompanied chemo6). I would have to be home-schooled. Chemo would cause me to be nauseous7)， weak， tired. I'd have to be on a strict diet—unhealthy food could get me sick. I would lose all my hair. I would have tubes connected to my heart coming out of my chest， and so much more. Thankfully， after the second surgery I was cancer free. Of course， I have to remain in remission8) and observation for five years to be sure the cancer doesn't come back， but there's only a small chance it will. At first， I didn't understand why I had gotten cancer. I would think， \"Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Does God hate me? How could he let anyone suffer what I'm suffering? Especially a kid!\" Once I started accepting that this was real and I couldn't do anything but fight it， I figured I would enjoy my life as long as I could before getting really sick. I started hanging out with my family more. I spent the weekends with my aunts and cousins， or with my dad and his side of the family. It was hard to do too much， though， because I spent more time at the hospital than I did at my house.Once I was \"cancer free\"， I was still stuck with the mentality9) that it could come back at any moment， and I would regret not having enjoyed my life as much as I could have. I decided that from then on， I would live life to its fullest. I wouldn't take anything for granted. I would try new things. I would love my brother and my parents， forgive my father， take lots of pictures， smile， laugh， and act goofy10). I'd be outgoing.Two years later， I'm still cancer free. Three more to go until I'm considered safe. I have to say， God answered my questions. Why did I have cancer? Why me? Because my life was going to waste. I was a selfish， inconsiderate， stubborn， unforgiving， careless， bratty11)， yet shy girl. But when the cancer hit， it completely changed me. When I saw my mom cry， it hurt me. When I heard my dad's voice crack12)， his one and only child， his daughter， diagnosed with cancer， I regretted ever being mad at him. When my stepbrother and cousins were speechless， I reassured them. As I cried， my aunt held my hand and cried with me. She even went to appointments with my parents and me. I'm not the same girl I was before I had cancer. Today， I take too many pictures， smile too much， goof off13) too much. My brother and I have become close and my cousins have their \"big sister\" back. Cancer brought my family back together. Sometimes my hair is hard to manage， but I can't say I hate it. Don't wait for something like cancer to come around and change your life. Take it upon yourself14) to make things right15) and truly worth living for.那时我14岁，以为自己无所不知。在学校，我成绩优异，但在家里，我却经常与妈妈和继父吵架。我的父母在我小时候就离婚了，我因为父亲离开了母亲而对他心生怨愤，跟大家庭里的亲戚们也日渐疏远。我无法忍受自己的头发，每天为此抱怨不休。我是独生女，但有一个继父带来的兄弟，我讨厌他。我只想跟我的朋友们出去玩。我还总想自己一个人待着，听听音乐，上上网，做些你能想到的事情。我总是满心愤懑，爱发脾气。我以为我的生活就该如此。2010年5月，我被诊断出了癌症。在两个多月的时间里，我一直在做检查，还做了两个手术以确诊我的病情是否还处于早期，是否可以免做臭名昭著的化疗和放疗。幸运的是，癌症还没有扩散进我的血液，将肿瘤清除干净会容易些。尽管这个过程没有你预想中的那么久，但那两个月却如同炼狱。每天晚上我都哭着入睡，害怕化疗引起的各种变化：我将不得不在家里上学，化疗会让我感到恶心、虚弱和疲惫，我将不得不严格控制饮食——不健康的食物会让我生病，我的头发将全部掉光，我的胸口会被插上连接心脏的管子等等诸如此类的事情。谢天谢地，在第二次手术之后，我的癌症消失了。当然，我还有五年的康复期和观察期，以便确保癌症不会卷土重来——不过它复发的概率很小。起初，我并不明白为什么我得了癌症。我会想：“为什么是我？我做了什么才遭到这样的报应？上帝讨厌我吗？他怎么可以让一个人承受我这样的痛苦？特别是让一个孩子来承受！”一旦我开始接受现实，明白除了与之战斗别无选择后，我知道我会在病入膏肓之前尽可能久地享受生活。我开始更多地与家人出去游玩，与姨妈和表兄妹，或是爸爸及他那一边的亲戚共度周末。尽管如此，我还是很难频繁和他们相聚，因为我在医院的时间要多于在家的时间。在我的癌症“消失”以后，我仍旧被癌症会随时复发的担忧所困扰，我会后悔没有尽可能地享受生活。我决定从那时起把生活过得充实完满。我不会再认为什么事情都是理所应当。我要尝试新鲜事物。我要爱我的继兄弟和父母，要原谅我的父亲，要拍很多照片，微笑，大笑，装傻卖萌。我要变得开朗起来。两年后，我的癌症仍然没有复发。再过三年没复发我就被视为安全了。我不得不说，上帝回答了我的问题，为什么我会得癌症？为什么是我？因为那时我的生命就要被浪费。过去的我是一个自私自利、不顾别人、顽固不化、没有容忍之心、粗心大意、放肆无礼，却还腼腆害羞的女孩。但是当癌症袭来的时候，我被彻底改变了。看到妈妈在哭泣，我感到心被刺痛。听到爸爸的声音变得嘶哑——他唯一的孩子、他的女儿被诊断身患癌症——我后悔自己之前一直迁怒于他。看到继兄弟和我的表弟表妹们静默语塞，我出言安慰了他们。当我哭泣的时候，姨妈拉着我的手和我一起流泪。她甚至和我的父母一起陪我去见医生。我不再是患癌症之前的那个女孩了。如今，我拍很多照片，笑得很多，闲适许多。我的继兄弟和我变得亲近了，我的表弟表妹们又找回了他们的“大姐大”。癌症让我的亲人们再次凝聚。有时我的头发还是很难打理，但我不能说讨厌它。不要等类似癌症的东西来改变你的生活，要自己去着手改善现状，让生活真正值得度过。10.goofy [#712;ɡu#720;fi] adj. <美口>傻的；疯的；怪癖的；可笑的11.bratty [#712;br#230;ti] adj. <口>倔头倔脑的；无礼的，放肆的12.crack [kr#230;k] vi. (嗓音)变粗；(嗓子)变哑13.goof off: 混日子，偷懒14.take it upon oneself: 决定自己干15.make sth. right: 纠正某事；改善状况